(Im)Patiently Waiting

Note: This was reposted after I transferred my website. Post originally published January 2019.

“…I may show you the next step on your journey without revealing the appointed time for you to take that step. Instead of going full speed ahead as soon as you know what is next, you must wait until I show you when I want you to go forward.”

This.

This hit me HARD as I was reading from my Jesus Always devotional today. It comes from my favorite devotional writer, Sarah Young, who writes as if God is speaking directly to you.

Have you ever had a period in your life like this? Where you felt like you knew exactly what God was calling you to do, yet at the same time you were unable, for whatever reason, to pursue that calling?

Well, that’s me. And it’s been a huge part of my struggle for a long time now. I have a particular path that I feel called to pursue. But it is the type of situation I cannot pursue without God first opening the door for me.

And so I’m waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

There’s a phrase from the Hallmark series Signed, Sealed, Delivered that resounded in my mind as I read through the words of my devotional. “Trust the Timing.”

Trusting Him to open that door at the appointed time…sounds easy, right?

Wrong.

The irony is that, as much as I know I trust God, it doesn’t make waiting on His timing any easier. It’s hard to wait when you feel a passion burning inside you and you just have to sit on it. It’s hard not to get sucked into the drudgery of ordinary life, feeling all the while that you are meant to be doing something other than what you are doing.

So the question remains, how can I or you or anyone make a period of waiting a fruitful one, instead of a destructive one?

I think the answer is simple, well, in theory of course. Keep your eyes on Christ and do as much as you can to serve Him and His people in the place you are at, wherever that may be. Because what good does it do to sit around feeling miserable about your situation? What purpose does it serve to live a life of despondence?

Waiting can seem like a dark, never-ending hole. It can feel lifeless, without hope. But it doesn’t have to be. We have a choice. We can choose to make a time of waiting a time of preparation. We can choose to seek beauty and fulfillment in the simple things. We can choose to reframe our mindset. As the saying goes, “Happiness is a choice.”

Honest moment here: I had a horrible week. My anxiety was off the charts, so intense that it affected me physically every single day. It led to me being irritable, frustrated, and with a terrible attitude. And although I can’t publicly be transparent on what the major cause of my anxiety is, I can tell you it is a large part of the situation that I feel “stuck” in, until God opens that next door. So believe me when I say I needed to hear this message today. I needed the reminder to accept the cross that God has given me in my current situation and wait for Him. If there’s one thing we know as children of God, it is that He is a good Father and He does not delight in our suffering. And while I do not know why God is making me wait, I do know that God’s knowledge and wisdom far surpass mine.

So, here’s to taking this week with a fresh set of eyes and a renewed spirit. I can’t change my situation, but I can change how I view it. I can view it as a burden or I can view it as a time to prepare myself for what I know God has planned for me.

It certainly won’t be easy. The good news? I don’t have to do it alone.

For peace in waiting,

Jess